Veritas
by storm-stellar
Summary: Secret Swooper Assignment for the SiB LJ Comm, tasmen's gift! :D Basically my take on what happened before Nate met the Warden.


Before we begin, I would like to say that I do not own Dragon Age, or Awakenings. Or any part of it. If anything I own the Warden briefly mentioned in this fic. (:

Done for the SiB LJ comm as a (not so) Secret Swooper assignment for tasmen. I really hope you like it! (:

* * *

It was an uncompromising situation, something that he really hadn't quite bargained on getting.

Of all people that he had to meet, why did it have to be the one man who conspired with his father to usurp the throne and take on the Blight the way he wanted it?

Of all people, why did it have to be Loghain Mac Tir? He had heard that he was set free to be alive under the mercy of the Hero of Ferelden, the new Warden-Commander of the Grey Wardens in Amaranthine, his past home. Nathaniel Howe had sworn to kill the Hero, regardless of who he was, but to meet public enemy number one…

"You're Rendon's child, aren't you?" Loghain stated casually. He hadn't even flinched when Nathaniel drew his bow and was ready to fire the shot, almost as though he knew that Nathaniel wouldn't actually fire it. "You've the same air about you – same kind of determination."

"I want some questions answered," Nathaniel's gaze didn't falter as he stared at what he viewed, to be an accomplice in his father's murder. If Loghain hadn't plotted to even kill Cailan Theirin or even plot at all, his father would still be alive; he'd still be home with his family. "Why did you even try to plot against the King of Ferelden? Why did you even get my father involved?"

"My father was a great man – he may not have been well-loved by the people but he did things for the right reason. Why did you have to drag him into your plans? He had a family waiting for him back home, and you helped kill him," Nathaniel stood still, staring into Loghain's eyes as he continued his questions. There was just no way that his father would be the murderer that people said he was. He was brash and more often than not did things with an iron fist, but he wasn't a cold-blooded murderer that everyone seemed to say he was. He needed answers. He needed the truth.

He needed to know that what the people were saying wasn't true.

"I have to know, Loghain, whatever your reasons are," Nathaniel's voice came to a monotone. Somehow he couldn't find it in himself to kill Loghain, even though he was so close and armed. If he really wanted to, Loghain would be critically injured by his arrow, if not dead. There was no way to dodge it at such a short range. Yet he couldn't kill him, he just couldn't.

"Tell me boy – what do you know about your father?"

"He was viewed by others as a powerful man, and a strong person," Nathaniel responded bitterly. He knew how strong his father was, and how unfeeling he could be at times, having experienced it first-hand. Yet somehow a chord was struck within him – did he truly feel that his father was like that?

_Or do you just not want to believe that what they're saying is true?_

"Fool boy. I'm asking what you truly viewed Rendon as, your honest opinion, not what he was commended for. You don't seem to know much about what your father's done while you were away in the Marches, so let me fill you in on what actually happened. Oh yes, don't look so surprised. He did mention that you were in the Free Marches once, but that was all; he never spoke of you again." Loghain drew his sword and stabbed it into the ground, leaning against it as Nathaniel's eyes narrowed upon the mention of his being in the Free Marches.

"He attempted to annihilate the entire Cousland family, only to have Bryce Cousland's daughter, the Hero of Ferelden, take her revenge. She told me once, that she regretted hunting Rendon down for so long just for her own personal revenge. She even regretted killing him, pondering about her decision, thinking about the pain she must have caused his family members, always wondering if it was the same pain she experienced," Nathaniel's eyes grew wide as Loghain continued. _It can't be. It couldn't have been you_. Noticing the boy's momentary lapse of composure, it suddenly dawned on him why the boy had come.

"_I used to know a boy from the Howes. I don't know where he is now, but if he's alright and safe...I want to apologize to him. I want to tell him that I'm sorry for what I did to him and his family, but I also want to tell him that I had no choice," she looked to the moon as she spoke, walking next to Loghain as they went back to the camp. _

"He used to sleep next to the dungeons within the estate at Denerim, just to torture his victims one last time before he finally retired for the night. You can ask yourself what that says of him, and his personality. Twisted, twisted man."

"The man that YOU helped to create! If it weren't for you…Allena wouldn't have to take her revenge. If it weren't for you and your damned plans, no one would have to suffer this much. He changed because of you!" Nathaniel's voice was raised to a roar. He couldn't believe it. Loghain was saying that his father all of those…those monstrous things, that he was a cold-blooded murderer, almost as if Loghain didn't have a part to play in it.

_It's time to face facts._

"Because of ME?" Loghain laughed while Nathaniel gritted his teeth, the flames in his eyes ablazing.

_It's not because of him._

"Father changed because of you, Loghain, because of your damned plans, because of everything that you've conspired to do. I should kill you where you stand for what you've done," Nathaniel spat while Loghain stopped laughing, patting his sword. "He wouldn't have been such a monster if it weren't for you."

_Lies._

"Say what you want, Howe, for it doesn't bother me, coming from people like you, not anymore. I'm a man that's serving my time, working with the Grey Wardens to restore their Order. I no longer have a life of my own to live, and my deeds are being atoned for. I do not have to answer to people like you, no longer. I'll leave you with this however – ask yourself, truly, what kind of a man Rendon Howe was before he left to be recruited by me as a political ally. Ask yourself, truly, what lengths he would go to just to satisfy his own ambitions, his own lust for power." Dragging his sword out of the ground, he sheathed it as Nathaniel continued to stare. "You now have a choice – you can kill me, taking revenge for your father, even though you know for yourself the kind of man he truly was. Or you can seek out-"

"I don't need to," Nathaniel breathed, "You're the man who's been living with the weight of his deeds, and you deserve to live to bear that burden. Killing the Couslands, causing my father's death, causing the deaths of many and their loved ones. All the Grey Wardens at Ostagar. The King. You deserve any form of burden that should be carried." Firing his shot into the tree next to Loghain, he let down his bow. "I don't need to kill you to make you feel the weight of what you did."

"What did you come here for, lad? To seek revenge for your father?" Loghain called as Nathaniel strapped the bow on his back, walking away before he stopped.

"To kill the Hero of Ferelden. To kill…her, for what she did to my family, to my father, sullying the name of the Howes," he spoke out loud before he continued on his way, closing his eyes, blocking Loghain out of his mind.

_You know what he's like. You knew this would happen. You knew what kind of a man he truly was. You just don't want to see him for what he was. Can't you bring yourself to believe that she was the one who killed him?_

As he watched Nathaniel walk away, Loghain couldn't help but notice it. The way he walked. It was the same way Rendon walked whenever Loghain saw him. With an air of determination, of duty, regardless of whatever it cost.

"The Howe is strong," Loghain looked at Nathaniel's back as he walked off, "very strong indeed."

* * *

Veritas means "truth" in Latin (I hope. I used an online translator to be honest), so I thought it'd be a bit fitting to put this as the title. Allena, who got her brief mention, is the Cousland that I played with so I thought I'd borrow her name for a bit.

Hopefully this was satisfactory? :D

Merry Christmas!


End file.
